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8 Ways to Tell a Pretty Ladyboy from a Pretty Girl

Just recently I was on a night out with a friend and her boyfriend, who were passing through Bangkok to say hi before heading off for some sun and sea on the islands.

As we sat outside a bar watching the world go by, a ladyboy, or kathoey as they are known in Thailand, walked by in 6-inch heels and a miniskirt. I joked with my friend’s boyfriend that if he was out here as a single guy she might have taken his fancy.

But to my surprise, he had no idea the attractive lady was in fact born a man, well, a transgender person, to be correct.

Needless to say, from that point onwards, I had a fun night teasing him every time his eyes diverted to what he thought was a beautiful woman.

sexy thai ladyboy

Jokes Aside, What's the Deal With Thai Ladyboys?

We all have a joke like this now and again, but no disrespect is meant – and let's look at this seriously for a minute.

Ladyboys get a bad rap at times, particularly the ones we hear about robbing foreigners in Pattaya while on yaba. But as with any minority group of individuals committing crime, this doesn't represent the entire transgender community of Thailand.

The reality is that the majority are lovely people, and once you get to know a ladyboy the whole mystery thing and age-old jokes drop a way as you see the individual come to life.

For example, I have a ladyboy friend who I met at a language school I previously attended. She's a really lovely person, and quite beautiful too. My next door but one neighbour is a ladyboy. She works an office job and is by all means an average member of society. She's really friendly too and often speaks with my wife and daughter.

Ladyboys are a prominent feature of modern day Thai society, particularly here in Bangkok. Of course, when you first arrive from Europe and see so many ladyboys (comparably with back home), you can’t help but be a little fascinated as to “why Thailand and not other countries” (apparently the Philippines is a rival for the crown though).

But as one of my Thai friends pointed out: it isn’t that Thailand has a gender issue, it is more likely that westerners that want to be ladyboys feel too oppressed to do so, and that gay men are made to feel out of place when they display feminine tendencies.

That really is food for thought, and I have no doubt there is some truth in this.

thai ladyboy

 

Don't Get Your Thai Genders in a Twist!

At this point it's worth pointing out that ladyboys aren’t seen as gay men dressed as women in Thailand, nor are they transvestites as we might brand such persons in the West.

No, it runs a lot deeper than that. In fact, in Thailand you have 5 categories of gender to consider:

1. Straight man/woman

2. Lesbian

3. Gay

4. Tom boy – Girl that wants to be a boy, in mind feels like a boy, and is often seen with a very attractive straight female. It has become quite fashionable in BKK for a young woman to have a tom boy in tow.

5. Ladyboy – Man acts and feels like a woman but was born with the wrong bits and, over time, depending on his/her financial situation, will gravitate further towards being a woman with the help of surgery.

You often hear people say that the ladyboys of Thailand are all amazingly attractive. Of course this isn't the case, and like all genders, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

It's usually the case that the wealthier the family the more “woman-like” a ladyboy will look, because surgery and hormone medication is an expense that not every ladyboy can afford.

However, it is the case that some ladyboys are already blessed with effeminate mannerisms, soft features and a slight build, so should such a man grow long hair and wear make-up, a newbie to Thailand would naturally think he was a woman anyway.

thai ladyboy

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Facing the Reality of Discrimination

Sadly, many ladyboys find it hard to get on in Thai society, especially if they are from humble beginnings. Thailand may seem liberal on the surface, but as with most public social commentary in Thai society, discrimination happens quietly, manifesting itself in stares, employment discrimination and such.

Everyone seems to enjoy the exuberance of a ladyboy friend – but many families wouldn’t be too chuffed if their son married a ladyboy. So while Thailand might seem very liberal and accepting on the surface, it's not always say behind closed doors.

In some cases, the lure of fast money to aid gender development, and perhaps a troubled upbringing plagued with parental and societal rejection, means a fair amount of ladyboys end up as prostitutes, fulfilling a seemingly popular Western male fantasy. A walk down the infamous Soi Nana on any given night of the week confirms this trend.

BUT! There are plenty of wonderful, kind, fully-accepting Thai people who far outnumber those who aren't, and it's for this reason that Thai ladyboys are generally able to integrate and express themselves as they please in Thai society.

My wife told me about the ladyboy in her group at school, and how from a very young age she shared the female toilet with the other girls and was always seen as and treated as a girl. It seems her gang embraced having a ladyboy in the group as a positive addition.

meet a thai ladyboy

How to Tell a Sexy Thai Ladyboy From a Sexy Thai Girl

Having been in Thailand for many years now, I have developed an efficiently trained eye when it comes to spotting ladyboys.

It is no secret that some ladyboys can rival the looks of the most attractive of women, but, if you know what you are looking for, you can tell.

For many men, however,  a ladyboy is exactly what they are looking for, so much so in fact that instead of trying to see whether a girl is a ladyboy, they are trying to spot if the ladyboy is a girl – because if she is they'll pass.

So, to give those of you planning on visiting Thailand and on the look out for a ladyboy as a potential date, or for those beer goggled Aussies who always seem to end up being fooled – or so they claim,  I have developed an 8-point check to make sure you end up with the girl or ladyboy of your choice.

thai ladyboy

1. Height

The average Thai man is taller than the average Thai woman, so when you see an very tall, long legged, long-armed Thai woman in a bar or disco, she might well be a ladyboy.

2. Adams Apple

Obvious, I know, which is why many ladyboys have an operation to shave it down. In this respect, this check-point is somewhat unreliable.

3. Big Feet

Thai women in general have fairly small feet, usually around a European 37/38. Ladyboys, more often than not have bigger feet than the average Thai woman. However, if the feet are small, then look out for big toes.

4. Big Hands

Big hands are impossible to change. For sure, some ladyboys have smaller, more feminine hands, but in my experience most have big hands and long fingers, albeit well kept with polished finger nails.

5. Jaw Line

The jaw can be subject to reshaping, but surgery is expensive and not all ladyboys have advanced to this stage. If the jawline looks a tad wide and a tad chiseled, she could be a ladyboy.

6. Forearm Length

This is a big give away. A woman’s forearm is generally more elegant than a man’s forearm. You can look in this area for veins and for muscular formation on the inside of the forearm and the bicep and tricep. Even when slim, Thai women usually lack muscular formation in their arms.

7. Broad Shoulders

Nine times out of ten a man has broader shoulders than a woman, especially in Thailand where women are very slight in build. A surprisingly tall lady with broad shoulders is almost certain to be a ladyboy.

8. Deep Voice

This may seem like an obvious male characteristic, but with the additional barrier of an accent this is not always the easiest aspect to spot – see my video suggestion at the end of this article for proof of this. Some regional Thai accents are also quite harsh in tone, therefore unless a voice is obviously deep, it may not always give the game away.

If you are confident that you can now spot a ladyboy, this video might make you think again. Would you have known? Would you have cared ?

Interested in meeting genuine ladyboy's for casual encounters or a relationship?

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  1. Ken says

    You forget to mention the most important tell, which is the ring finger. On men the ring finger is almost always longer than the index finger and this is because this ratio is directly related to how much testosterone you have in your body as a growing child. In women however the ring finger is never longer than the index finger. It will be the same length or slightly shorter than the index finger. Of course I’ve never had to check this out myself because 95% of the time I can spot a ladyboy before she even opens her mouth. There is just something in their body language and facial expressions that give them away every time (assuming you are very good at reading body language and micro-expressions). Its like they are trying to act feminine rather than just naturally “being” feminine, and they always over act. And of course the other 5% you know as soon as they start talking. Unless they started taking hormones when they were still children they will never be able to get the voice quite right.

    Frankly I’ve never really understood how some men can have such a hard time distinguishing real women from ladyboys. Oddly enough I have also noticed that it seems like the overly masculine high school jock types seem to be the least able to tell the difference. Which is kind of ironic when you consider that these are often also the most likely types to be homophobic.
    Reply

      • Ken says

        Yeah, not too many people know about this one yet. Of course, even when you do know about it its rather an awkward proposition asking all of your dates to lay their hands face down on a counter top, fingers together, while you lay a straight edge across the tops of thier finger tips to see if they were born a man or a women. And although the difference is pretty pronounced on my own fingers it can be much more subtle in others. Which means you really need the person’s full cooperation to accurately take this measurement in many cases. And naturally long fingernail, which might not all be the same length, make it hard to tell where the tips of the fingers are. And eventually of course ladyboys will just start getting operations to shorten the length of their ring fingers. Maybe some even already do.
        Reply

        • Lek says

          I did what you suggested and also measured them but I have slightly longer ring finger than index finger (I'm a woman btw). So I made some searches on the topic. It seems you're right about the fact that men have longer ring finger (shorter index to ring finger ratio) but women can also have index to ring finger ratio of less than one. In fact, the mean of the ratio for women is less than one according to some research. Thanks for an interesting point though.
          Reply

  2. gary says

    A man who had lived in Thailand for twelve years showed me how to tell them from women. It is their arms, a Thai women's arm will bend backwards even when they lean against a counter their arms will bend the other way. He demonstrated this on the girl he had just picked up. She looked puzzled when he bent her arm back but not in pain. Whether this is from training as most Thai girls can bend their fingers right back or anatomy I don't know, but it was sure true what he showed me. He said a lady boy cannot do this, try it next time your out there?
    Reply

    • DarkVeghetta says

      Arms or fingers? You start with arm and then use 'fingers' at the end.

      Thing is, I'm a man and can bend my forearms slightly backwards without trying, so that theory goes right out the window - unless you mean to say women can bend their forearms more then 25 degrees backwards, which I somehow doubt (I'm sure some can, just not most).

      If you meant fingers all along, those too I can bend back to about 85 degrees without any pain involved. I've seen women that can go way past that, so perhaps that could be used as a marker - though I can't name any social interactions that would include bending fingers backwards.
      Reply

  3. Master Dav Van Zell says

    Greetins all ! To focus on a realistic trend, those who are more fortunate LadyBoys, the incredibly attractive model types ... are primarily not freindly to the outsider or visitor . They remain in a close knit inner circle of trusted friends and associates . The most important detail to note is .... " never stare " . You will find yourself quickly rejected and an outcast . Unless you are a friend of a friend ... you are pretty much never going to get close enough to share the goodwill you may intend to share with them . Absolutely ... the top shelf LadyBoys are more incredible than one can possibly imagine in appearance, yet so much more in warmth if lucky enough to become accepted and trusted . The less fortunate you had mentioned finacially are still reserved to accept a stranger . Imagine yourself in their shoes ... and some look really great in their shoes ... LadyBoys have seen it all come and go from tourists, in every manner of the spectrum, they have risen above the judgements from westerners ... and emotionally realized they are not just unique, but at the top of their game ... so to speak . Respect and admiration for they as a person goes a long way . Let them see you being warm and decent to their neighbor, but do keep your thoughts and gestures to yourself about them . Let a LadyBoy warm up to you . No-one has more appreciation for they than I, Goodwill to all . Enjoy !
    Reply

  4. Robert Lane Aiassa says

    THE SCIENCE AND EVOLUTIONARY CHANGE: Stop Discrimination: and racial profiling, I continued, advocate for human and civil rights; regardless; be it religion or human sexuality. There are many differences in the social aspects, that being studied in the gay or transgender community. here are some simple facts; that present itself; that in fact proven set itself aside as a third gender, chromosomes determine typically, a sexual orientations; transgender is a woman. She is someone whom desires to be in a heterosexual relationship with a male partner, or bisexual if they hadn't sought a surgery to complete their gender transformation., and gender relations by it's genetic factors. The difference, however a homosexual or gay man, but, he would be someone whom seeks [male to male] relationship that has "no interests," in the feminine gender but as masculine partner and sexual relations with a woman [female] of either species, or as transgender. The psychologists call it [gender identity disorder; I would disagree because the "study of brain," has proven that transgender thought process are very similar as being relative [women] bare similarity; emotions; thought processes; and many of the physical attributes; and many of the transgender women hormonal injections; proven that they quickly begin to develop body; glands; reproductive organs. The gender species of either sex is less than .05 percent; be it a man or woman; determined by the 18-21 trimester; that their bodies determines their own human sexuality; a chromosome found in Hermaphrodite Images: below is a link: "Real Photos & Detailed Pictures"
    http://www.mahalo.com/hermaphrodite-images [[the third species]] in human evolutionary changes, my own interest's studied anthropology [[nine actual Neanderthal species]] not one, as originally being taught to American science institutes; based upon their insignificant evidence; "Luzia Woman," whom bared no offspring ; 20y , 10,500 years old, skeleton; missing scallop; not making it a presentation of discovery's based upon their own claims; but travelled; only 70km ; period of the millions of years?? Ardi; had a recessed, unrelated; DNA; chromosome incapable of being off spring; They had tried to claim; suggesting; related to chimpanzees, 3.2m years ago, unrelated, [chimpanzee is still a chimpanzee] {[Ice age]} fact; however; adaptation is proven; climate, elevations; and haphazard; human sexuality by the second trimester [made no mention of [hermaphrodite] the evolution of hominoid species fro the northern ice tundra; the evolution of man; the YETI; as a hominid species from Siberian ; migrated and interbreed with the ancient denvoskans; Denisova hominins / d ə ˈ n iː s ə v ə /, or Denisovans, are Paleolithic -era members of a species of Homo or subspecies of Homo sapiens.species; from Asian countries. The third gender as written into law based upon discoveries of human sexuality and study of science concluded with or without transformation; Germany has expressed to fairly treat as equal in their society as an acceptable lifestyle.

    End of thesis,

    Written By Robert Lane Aiassa
    Reply

  5. Sam says

    The difference you've mentioned among trans women (ladyboys) and genetic girls is the same as you could do to distinguish men from a women! Am I correct? Bigger hands, broader shoulders, deeper voice, etc, etc. Anyone knows the physical differences amongst men and women and you've spotted exactly this. Of course all transwomen expect their femininity or womanliness be noted, not masculine aspects. I don't mean to offemd you, far from it. But why to make a post to spott differences among men and women? That's what you've done and for this reason it sounded somewhat transphobic to me.
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      The points listed are somewhat tongue in cheek if you look at it that way, but equally it's a post to help men find a ladyboy and to help those seeking a ladyboy partner identify potential suitors. Rather than being transphobic, surely the post is complementary in that I am saying it can be hard to tell the difference? No ladyboy attempting to be as womanly as possible would be offended if I told her she looked like a beautiful lady, now, would she? You have also glossed over the parts where I do, in all seriousness, explain that life in Thailand isn't always easy for ladyboys and that I do respect them as I would any other person.
      Reply

  7. Dan Dan says

    I really regret that people feel it appropriate to sling insults at you over this piece. For sure, this isn't the most intellectual piece you have written(!) but I believe we should take it with the light spiritedness with which it has been written.
    I have friends who are ladyboys - I have, infact, lived with ladyboy housemates - and for the most part, they would not be offended by the term "katoey", in the same way I am not offended when (they) the girls call me "cha-nee". At the end it the day, it all comes down to the context and intent with which you use these words. Respect everyone, love each other and don't take yourself too seriously. My ladyboy sisters would tell you the same. Sexuality is made an issue far more by mud-slinging and slanging matches, than tongue-in-cheek 'filler' journalism.
    Reply

  8. Branko says

    Yeah. Sounds like a typical dum chick wrote this crap
    I'm going out with one And she totally would slip through that dum Fuks nets
    All day long !!!

    What about the most common giveaway ?
    Implants. You dum Fuk
    Do Thai girls get implants often ? How many Thai girls get implants ?? Fucken none

    And what is usually the first step for a lady boy ? A cock extension ? No a set of tits for $1500

    The first noticeable thing is implants ?

    Then you say there Meds are expensive ?? Have you priced female hormone ? No It's cheaper that eating fried rice

    It's that cheap in thailand ladyboys fly from Asia to stock up

    Fuk I would love to send a pic of my misses Let your dum step 8 totally Fuk up.

    Some other clown said about feet , height

    Have yous only seen the typical bangkok hookers ?
    The true blue ladyboys are girls trust me. And no thay don't get erect and totally indiscust even looking at a lady boy porn Cause thay look at it from a girls point of view ( totally sic )
    What about A short one , soft hands also feet
    Reply

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