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Sin Sod – What Should You Pay to Marry Your Thai Girlfriend?

You will find a huge amount of misleading information online regarding Sin Sod, and conflicting experiences can be found plastered all over forums and blogs.

So, when a foreigner wants to marry his Thai girlfriend and the inevitable subject of Sin Sod arises, it is no surprise that he becomes confused over what he should be paying and why he is expected to pay it.

Part of the problem is that Thai women often don’t explain the concept of Sin Sod very well, which isn’t at all surprising, considering that for them it’s a standard tradition and an age-old part of Thai culture.

They just get on with it. It's normal. They've seen it a hundred times at weddings since childhood. And like traditions the world over, some people simply participate and follow along without really understanding the history.

I'm married myself, and I've been to a few Thai weddings in my time. But of course, if we want to know the truth about Sin Sod, the best people to ask are Thai people themselves. So for this post, to make sure my understanding is accurate, I enlisted a couple of Thai friends to help me stay on point.

Before I begin, I am not by any means saying that the information in this post is entirely definitive or one hundred percent historically factual.

However, what I can say is that the information is the experience of myself and two Thai people, both educated and well-versed in their own culture.

sin sod thai dowry

Contents

  1. What Is Sin Sod?
  2. What Sin Sod Isn't
  3. Who Pays?
  4. Who Doesn't Pay?
  5. How Much Should You Pay?
  6. My Girlfriend Is Asking For Too Much
  7. Will You Get Your Money Back?
  8. It Seems So Shallow!
  9. Compromising Your Culture
  10. Summary

What Is Sin Sod?

Sin Sod is paid to the bride's parents. It is a repayment for the investment they have put into raising their daughter, and also for the loss incurred by their daughter not being readily available to support them anymore.

It is also symbolic of the groom's ability to be able to financially take care of the bride.

Sin Sod is a very significant part of the Thai marriage tradition, and something most families take seriously. However, not all families keep the money, and in the modern day it is often returned.

The Three Components of the “Thai Dowry”

To break the meaning down further, there are generally three reasons for the payment of Sin Sod, as follows:

1. Traditionally, the eldest unmarried daughter takes care of her parents until she gets married, and therefore the Sin Sod in some respects replaces that income for the parents. As you might know, it is common for a single Thai woman to send a portion of her salary to her parents each month.

This usually stops once she is married and has her children to care for.

So, as you can imagine, for parents with no pension plan and little savings, the Sin Sod is a much-needed payday.

Richer families, who don't need the money, usually return the money because, quite simply, they don’t need it. For them, Sin Sod is more about showing status.

2. Once a woman has been married, and/or has kids, the structure of Thai society makes it very hard for her to find a man of decent stature. Therefore, the Sin Sod acts as a sort of insurance in the event that the husband leaves and doesn't offer post-separation financial support.

The bottom line is, if a woman finds herself back living with her parents as a single mother, the Sin Sod insures that there will be some money/land in the family to support the family.

Thai society also dictates that the older a Thai woman gets the harder it becomes for her to find a job, let alone a well-paid one. So again, should she find herself alone in the future, at least the family will have some money put by for some inevitably rainy years ahead.

As you can see, marriage is actually somewhat of a risk for a young woman.

3. Where poorer families are concerned, Sin Sod is considered repayment for the money invested in their daughter. Many families sell land, borrow money and generally go without to put their kids through university, or in some cases to simply put food on the table.

The Sin Sod is essentially a repayment for that investment. The amount paid for Sin Sod could be considered relative to the sacrificial cost of bringing up the child – thus the reason it is often referred to as payment for the “mother's milk”.

What Sin Sod Isn't

Some refer to Sin Sod as a dowry, but to be clear, you are not buying a woman or approaching her family to buy her.

The Western-centric viewpoint that Sin Sod equates to the purchasing of a Thai bride is completely incorrect.

To fully understand the tradition, I think it pays (pardon the pun) to put the word “dowry” out of your mind, not least because any suggestion to your future in-laws that you are purchasing their daughter will be very offensive.

Who Pays Sin Sod?

Any man marrying a Thai woman is expected to pay Sin Sod.

The amount is usually agreed between the two families. Where a foreigner's parents aren't present, the duty falls on him to ask the family how much they expect.

Who Doesn’t Pay Sin Sod?

In the modern day, many families don’t expect Sin Sod, and many will tell the boyfriend that they don’t want any money. Indeed, many young Thai women are now rejecting the tradition because of its outdated meaning.

However, it is very rare that money isn’t shown at the wedding, albeit that it might be returned.

It should be noted that to expect the money back, or to ask for it back, is unacceptable. One will be offered it back if that is to be the case.

Also note that you may not be required to pay Sin Sod if the woman you are marrying has been married before. See the section below for more details.

How Much Should You Pay for Sin Sod?

Historically this has (generally) depended on six factors, as listed and discussed below:

  1. Family Name
  2. Education
  3. Prior Marital Status
  4. Dependents
  5. Employment
  6. Age

1. Family Name

If your girlfriend is from a well-to-do family, you could be looking at a fair lump sum. However, in this situation the money will most likely be for show and returned to you after the wedding.

2. Education

If your girlfriend is university educated or beyond, then it is likely that you will be looking at a minimum of around 300,000 Baht. This is a low-moderate amount by modern-day Thai standards.

For example, a friend at my girlfriend’s workplace is soon to marry a Thai lady of a high-school level education and he is paying 200,000 Baht. His salary is approximately 30,000 per month.

3. Prior Marital Status

If your girlfriend has been married before then you should pay less. You might argue – on grounds of tradition – that you shouldn’t be paying at all. However, as a respectful gesture, you should offer something.

Remember that marriage is intended to happen once in Thai culture, and therefore importance is emphasized on marrying for the first time.

Unlike second and third marriages in the west, which may be seen as equally as important and “true love” matches, in Thailand they are not that much of a big deal. Celebrity second and third marriages are the exception to this rule.

4. Dependents

If your girlfriend has kids, tradition dictates that you should pay less.

This stems from the age-old thinking that the woman is tainted in some way, already given to another man, so to speak.

You will become responsible for another man’s seed, and for that you shouldn’t be paying for the privilege.

5. Employment

In terms of a woman's employment, it's hierarchical and usually correlates with education and earnings. For example, you'd pay/show more to marry a banker than a cleaner.

6. Age

Age is a contentious and quite horrible issue when it comes to Sin Sod.

I mean, when ex childhood superstar singer Tata Young, at almost 40 years old married Prame, the son of the FairTex boxing brand owner, she commanded 100 million Baht Sin Sod.

But for a 40-year-old woman from a poor rural family and a few kids in tow, it's unlikely that more than 200,000 Baht would be on offer.

That said, the type of guys such a woman would have access to wouldn't be able to afford more than that anyway.

But who knows, occasionally a rich man does fall for a poorer woman in good old classist Thailand, and to show his wealth he would no doubt slap down a hefty sin sod.

Age comes fairly low down on the list, though, and Sin Sod is generally decided by status, family wealth, family name and accomplishment/education of the female in question.

Want to know what I think you should pay? Leave your circumstances in the comments section and I'll give you my estimate!

My Girlfriend Is Asking For Too Much!

Many foreigners find themselves in this position, and it isn’t necessarily that your girlfriend is trying to con you, more so that she is trying to secure higher face for her family, and in some cases to elevate her family's wealth.

Face is everything in Thai society. To marry a foreigner with a Sin Sod of less than 200,000 Baht would be quite a loss of face – not just for her but also for you!

The fact that she is marrying a foreigner will mean tongues start wagging in the village.

So when you say:

“What! No way! I am not paying to marry you”

Or you announce a payment less than what an average Thai guy earning 10-15k a month would pay, you get branded a “Farang kee-nock” (literally translated as bird shit foreigner, but refers to a poor, lower class foreigner), or “Keniiow” (stingy).

The folks in the village will have a good laugh:

“Why is she marrying a foreigner when he can’t afford to pay anymore than one of us folk”?

Yes, unfortunately most Thais believe, as many westerners do, that Thai women only marry foreigners for financial security, unless of course the Thai woman is richer or as wealthy as the foreigner.

Ask Her Parents

Anyway, don't take your girlfriend’s word for it, because the tradition is that you are supposed to ask the mother and father for the amount they want. It is not for the woman to tell the man what she wants. So arrange to meet with the parents and politely ask them what they expect.

They will probably say one of two things:

1. “Oh no, mai pen rai. We don’t want anything”.

2. “It's up to you”.

The first answer doesn’t mean you say, “Okay, great”, and go and buy a new car instead.

By answering in this way they are exercising their “grengjai”. They are being polite.

What they actually mean is:

“Tell us what you WANT to pay, and you will be able to tell by our body language whether we think it’s okay or not”.

So basically you need to make out you really want to pay. As you can see, this all falls in nicely with the non-confrontational Thai style.

The second answer means, “What do you want to pay… but don’t insult me”!

*It should be noted that some families might genuinely want nothing at all.

Will You Get Your Money Back?

Chances are that you might, actually. Though don't expect it.

Interestingly, there was a poll Pantip, the popular Thai website, that surveyed a number of readers, asking whether their families returned the money.

48 out of 75 families said they returned the Money. Ten families returned only some of the money. And 17 families didn’t return any money.

All This Talk of Money Seems So Shallow!

Yes, and for the most part it is.

Sin Sod is largely about face.

“Look at my daughter, she went to university and married a good man with a good job”.

Or even, “Look at my daughter, she didn’t go to university, but she is so beautiful and hardworking that she married a lovely rich foreign guy”.

As a foreigner, you may feel like you are buying your girlfriend and have become a victim of the old “Thailand ATM” syndrome. And depending on the circumstances, that could be the case.

But if you're in a secure, genuine relationship, you need to forget what the misinformed barstool gossips say and consider your girlfriend and the culture. And yes, that's right, she too needs to consider your wallet.

Like it or not, Sin Sod is a big part of Thai culture, and, as soon as a Thai woman announces marriage, the big question on everyone's lips is, “How much Sin Sod“?

Why?

Because Sin Sod is a reflection of her and her family and you and your family.

A Thai woman lives to make her family proud, to show the other villagers that they are a good family, that they are to be respected, and that they are climbing the social scale.

I Feel I'm Compromising My Western Culture

I hear you.

I come from a culture where the woman’s father is supposed to pay all the wedding costs, though it’s more a 50-50 thing in the modern day.

But think about it like this: Your girlfriend has probably already sacrificed many of her cultural traditions to accommodate you in her life. Living with you and sleeping with you before marriage are two of those sacrifices.

Without you knowing it, she will have been the talk of her village for living with you without being married – this reflects badly on her family.

Don’t forget that you chose her as your girlfriend, and with all due respect, before getting involved with a woman from another culture, you really should understand the culture first.

On an emotional level, you need to consider that just like every Western girl dreams of a white wedding to make her daddy proud, the majority of Thai women grow up dreaming of marrying in their home town and making their parents proud with a respectable Sin Sod, and in turn elevating the family face.

The way I see it is this: An average wedding in the UK costs £20,000. So if you pay £4,000 – £6,000 to marry your Thai girlfriend in a village ceremony that costs no more than £2,000, you still save a whopping £12,000!

That said, in the UK, you get gifts and money from your girlfriend’s family, so that does offset some of the cost.

You also get money in Thailand. Guests put money in a box on their way in. We clocked up about 15,000 Baht if I remember correctly. That was a pleasant surprise.

Truth be told, you aren’t likely to get much in return at any point unless you marry into a wealthy family, but then setting up home here is cheaper, as is taking care of a woman post-marriage.

In Summary

Sin Sod isn't a recent cultural scam made up to dupe foreigners out of their savings; it has been around for donkey's years and is an expected part of every Thai wedding, although not everyone adhere's to the tradition.

Is it outdated? Probably.

Are some Thai brides using the tradition to extort older foreign men and secure a windfall for their family? A few. Where there is money to be made there is always someone seeking to exploit a situation.

In a nutshell, it is important for a foreign national marrying a Thai to understand this tradition, to know its symbolic meaning and what a fair Sin Sod is in a given circumstance.

That doesn't mean you have to agree with it, but whether you like it or not, marriage is about compromise – because it involves two people – so do your best to find some middle ground that makes both you and your partner feel comfortable.

Or, just call the whole thing off!

Feel free to pitch in with your experience. It would be really useful to know what married guys paid, or didn’t pay, and how the process was handled.

I would like to say a big thanks to Marisa and Noynar for contributing their cultural knowledge to help me write this post.

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  1. Novak says

    My girlfriend has suggested that I pay an amount not less than 400,000 baht when we get engaged. From what I have read so far Thais generally don't get engaged so I find this confusing. The lump sum I interpret as the sin sod which I believed to be part of the wedding. Am I right to be concerned?
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Hi Novak,The Thai engagement ceremony is called Thong Mum, which literally translates as "gold giving". The ceremony is attended by the bride and groom's parents and some close family and friends. It is not necessary to give money.Not all Thais have this engagement ceremony anymore; my wife and I didn't have one.Sin Sod is not presented on this day, however, as the name of this engagement ceremony suggests, gold has historically been given by the groom to the bride.In the modern day, all sorts of gifts exchange hands. I know of one rich Thai guy from the south who got engaged to a well-to-do girl from Kalasin and gave her a car and bought her a condo. Excessive, perhaps, but gifts on these occasions are relative to wealth in Thailand.My advice would be to give gold as a gift, as this is the best way to appropriate the tradition. Bear in mind, however, that it must be an even number of baht (a baht is the unit of measure for Thai gold. One baht = 1/2 troy ounce). You may choose to give this in the form of a necklace or bracelet.Hope this helps.
      Reply

  2. Matthias says

    I am an interesting case. I have been with my girl for almost 5 years and we studied in Thailand together. I'm 26 and she's 22.

    My gf received 10K from her mother each month. She paid about 6K for our apartment and I paid for food and household stuff (so anywhere from 6K-10K) per month.

    Now we live in BKK and both work. We go halfies for the apartment bill and I pay for dinner.

    Her whole family all date foreigners and none of them like Thai guys for various reasons. I don't know what the previous dowry's for her family were and I will let you know in my following post after reading this. I haven't asked my gf about this at all but now after reading this I'd really love to know. But there's at least 5 of us dating/married into my gf's mother's side alone. Those couples mostly live together and have normal lives together - her family really are just normal.

    I don't really expect to pay anything as my gf's mother just got married to a British doctor. I will just promise to take care of my gf's mother if for some reason in the future she can't support herself. I'll probably put anything on the table for sin sod, but I'll want it all back and I'll pay for the wedding. That's what I am thinking my offer will be. Anyone have any further suggestions ?

    Oh and my gf studied in an international program with me, she could easily work or even study again in my country as I am guessing her IELTS score would be at the least 6.5 although possibly even 7 to 8.5 - my gf only has gaps in ADVANCED English vocabulary. (I teach IELTS now so I am quite certain about this) I will probably have to take care of getting her to my country too.

    You old farts should honestly just come here as a sex tourist for sex, if that is what you are looking for. Don't put sex and love together. If you really are looking for love, be patient, be quick to say no to things, don't give in. Let her know you'll take care of her without putting money out there. Don't fall in love and prepare to look for a new girl, the chase is so much fun I in fact miss it so much. I am young and so many girls look at me. If you are young here, then never stick with one girl, trust me, you'll find the next one only a few moments later.
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Hi Mattias, thanks for posting your story.Not sure if you're trolling here, but straight off the bat I'll tell you that we're not all "old farts", and not everyone comes here as a sex tourist. Personally, I'm 35, married with a child, and have lived here for 6 years. Even when I'm 65, I doubt I'll consider myself an old fart - life is to be lived, no matter your age.If your GFs family is well off, then I'm sure they won't ask to keep the Sin Sod, although, if they are of good standing then perhaps you'll be asked to "show" a reasonable amount.I wouldn't rush in, though. It sounds to me like you aren't quite ready for marriage. I quote your last few sentences; "Don’t fall in love and prepare to look for a new girl, the chase is so much fun I in fact miss it so much. I am young and so many girls look at me. If you are young here, then never stick with one girl, trust me, you’ll find the next one only a few moments later."This feeling that you are too young and stopping yourself from exploiting these opportunities with all these girls that look at you will only grow stronger once you are married, no?Best of luck. Let us know what happens.
      Reply

      • Matthias says

        Yes not everyone here is an old fart, but I'm just talking about the old ones, I usually see the older guys giving money to Thai girls more so than younger Farang. But this point definitely really does go out to everyone.

        Don't confuse sex and love. If you want your gf to give you sex, but she doesn't give it to you and asks then money, then you must separate 'love' and 'lust' and just break up with her. Some people just try so hard to hold on..... with a few bank notes to assist that.

        If you want sex here, then be a sex tourist until you do find someone you love and everything is okay.
        Of course nobody wants to be labelled a sex tourist, it's rude, but it's technically true to be realistic here.

        Okay here's what happened in her family:
        1. My gf's mother's first husband. 50K [early 1990's so who even knows how much that is in today's money]
        1. My gf's mother got married and the husband didn't pay anything.. and he's a British doctor.. however my gf's grandparents have deceased anyway. [2014]
        2. My gf's mother's sister got married for a 100K sin sod (Japanese man) [about 7 years ago] - 1st Marriage
        3. My gf's cousin got married for a 1 Million sin sod (Japanese man) [2 years ago] - 2nd Marriage!!

        My gf said I would have to ask the mother one day :D

        Yeah I don't plan on getting married till I'm 30 anyway!

        I think I would like to pursue to new girl ; but only for the sex. My gf is perfect though, I don't think I could find anyone better than her, so I must stick with her.
        Reply

    • Ben says

      I'm also not an old fart, in fact our stories are quite similar. I'm 26 and my girlfriend is 23. We also met through studying together in an international program. I'm interested to know what your girlfriend expects and what her family has received recently. I personally would like to pay something reasonable as a show of respect to the parents, which I think my girlfriend would also very much appreciate. For me, though, it's just a matter of what I can afford.
      Reply

    • Dave says

      Hi Matthias,
      I hope you are still enjoying your youth and finding a girl around every corner. Just remember it is that attitude which led to many men becoming the " old farts" you mention.

      Dave.

      (old fart 61 wife 48 living between UK and Thailand)
      Reply

  3. Ben says

    I just want to provide a little bit of a counterpoint to this article, which seems to suggest that a few hundred thousand baht is the upper end of what sin sod might be. The other comments might already do this, but I unfortunately didn't have time to read through them all.

    My Thai girlfriend's aunt got married within the past couple years
    (to a Thai man) and sin sod was about 1 million baht cash as well as what I believe was a similar value of gold and a diamond ring (for a total value of around 2 million baht). I asked for confirmation of the amount of gold, and I'll post again here if I remember once I find out. Her aunt has a master's degree and was never married before. I'm not sure how old she was at the time.

    Unfortunately for me, this has set somewhat of a precedent, at least in my girlfriend's mind.
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Hi Ben, I'm pretty sure I didn't say that was the upper end; it most certainly isn't. One of my key points was that a large number of foreigners are misguided in their perception of how much Sin Sod Thais pay. Many foreigners believe Sin Sod is some invented tradition to rip off the "farang", when in truth foreigners get away, in most cases, with paying far less than Thai guys.Of course, in the case of poorer families, 100,000-200,000 is normal. But in the middle and upper classes, 1M Baht is quite common. And then there's the gold, as you pointed out.If a woman is unmarried, educated to university level or beyond (good job or own business), and has no children, it's unlikely a Thai Sin Sod will be less than 1 Million Baht in the current climate.Of course, it's up to the individuals and families involved to decide what's appropriate. It really does vary from situation to situation, though, with some women, like a good friend of mine, not wanting Sin Sod to be a part of the wedding at all.
      Reply

  4. Paul says

    Hi looking for a little advice
    I am planning to marry my Thai girlfriend legally but I have been married before in the UK to a British Citizen.
    My divorce will be granted in the next few weeks even though we have been separated for a number of years.
    However I have read somewhere that the Thai law states that if a person has been married before there has to be 310 days from the divorce date before you can re marry?
    Does anyone know is this true and is it just for Thais marrying in or is it for westerners marrying Thais ?
    Look forward to your response
    Thanks
    Reply

  5. Jason says

    Hi. I have a Thai girlfriend for about a year now. Her family have found out about the relationship and have since been trying to marry her off to a rich Thai man. She is well educated, financially very secure and well known Thai family name. They have requested I show 30 million baht Sin Sod or they will not allow it to happen, which of course I do not have. She has fought with her family and does not have contact with them anymore because they will not accept me. We are both late thirties. Do you think there is any way I can get her family to accept me without being able to afford the Sin Sod?
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      I am sure they have set the price that high in the hope the problem (you, unfortunately) goes away. Many elite Thais, as with high society families in many countries around the world, do not want their bloodline diluted by foreign blood, and don't want to have to go through the loss of face that comes with letting ones daughter marry a foreigner who isn't super rich as they are.If your GF has already cut contact then she will probably lose her inheritance and all respect from her extended family and other families she grew up around. Disrespecting your parents, even when they are clearly wrong and unreasonable, is a big no-no in Thai culture.If I were you, and her parents speak English; I'd go to visit them and try to lean on their conscience and ethical side, if they have one. Explain that money cannot buy happiness, and their daughter's happiness should be their priority as it is yours. Although be prepared for them to say that they don't want her marrying a foreigner, period, and that you don't understand Thai culture.All said and done, considering Thai women of 25 are considered old not to be married, you'd think they'd be pleased that at nearly 40 she has finally found someone she loves and wants to marry.
      Reply

  6. James says

    Hi, a good article you wrote. I think if men meet Thai women outside Pattaya, Phuket, and Nana the women are nearly certainly less money grubbing and shysterish, in regards to the sin sod. But, I have a sin sod issue. How does everything change if the man is taking the woman to the West from Thailand (or 3rd world to 1st, as some may say). If they marry and move to say America, UK, Australia, wherever the woman will get better access to health care, higher paying jobs, safer neighborhoods (arguably), better higher education opportunities for the kids, etc. Would it be selfish for the man to say, "you moving out West IS a sin sod?" I believe if they live in Thailand your article is spot on though. Thanks!
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Hi James,That wouldn't be a substitute for Sin Sod because the basis of the tradition is to repay the mother/parents for the investment in their daughter (the mother's milk). Historically it was considered that when a girl married an able working member was taken out of the family, so essentially the sin sod is a financial replacement. It has also served as a form of financial protection for the bride, should her husband leave her and not contribute to looking after his offspring, as there is no child maintenance law enforced in Thailand.Of course the tradition is in some disarray, with many families choosing to squander the money on the biggest house they can buy to show off to friends, or worse, drinking, gambling and partying the money away. Many families succumb to the begging hands of relative who want to "borrow" from the windfall. Sadly these are the problems that arise when a poor family suddenly come into a large lump sum of money – they don't know how to handle it.An already well-off family will usually give the money back, invest it for the daughter and leave it in inheritance or perhaps build the newly weds a house.I understand where you are coming from, but sin sod is shown at the wedding. There are a number of meanings attached to its presense, as you will have read in the post. You can't say, "Oh, I'll be paying for us to live in the US, so I'm not paying sin sod".Also consider that Thailand has very good schools in the private sector, and extremely good hospitals. If you have the money, one's life in Thailand can be of far higher quality than in the US or UK.Moreover, marrying someone's daughter, you'll be expected to provide the best life for her you can. So if this means going abroad then as the husband that's what you must do. This isn't exclusive to Thailand; this is the case if you marry into most cultures, particularly Asian. We can't say, "Oh, she'd have had a rubbish life without me. I'm doing her a favour, so I shouldn't haven't to pay sin sod". We marry out of love not pity or charity, right?Sin sod (sin sot) is a very specific tradition, heavily engrained in Thai culture and deeply misunderstood by foreigners. One reason is that it's multi-dimensional; it represents many things - most of which aren't discussed. It reflects on the bride, the groom and the family. It has also taken on a different face in the modern era, which has contributed to misunderstanding. However, for Thai people it remains clear because they grow up with this aspect of their culture from a young age. From the upper echelons of society down to rural farming families, sin sod is still very much a part of a wedding ceremony. Of course some place more importance on it than others, some don't see its relevance, and some abuse the opportunity, but it cannot be offset or replaced by any other financial (future) incentive.
      Reply

  7. fred says

    Thai girls only look out for themselves and their families... everyone else, including any stupid husband or boyfriend comes last and is usually only there to support her dumb family and herself.

    Any Thai girl who is looking to exclusively marry a foreigner is only doing so because she wants money and a better life for her family and herself at your expense.
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Fred,What about a Thai woman who marries a foreigner because she has feelings for him? What about a Thai woman who could marry a Thai guy and be better off but chooses a foreigner? What about a Thai woman who didn't search for a foreigner, and doesn't hold a preference for foreigners, but was pursued by one who didn't give up despite her numerous rejections? What about a Thai woman who refuses to conform to cultural and societal expectations and goes out into the world to express her individuality, and finds that the type of partner who will enable her to be a free-thinking, independent woman of the world is a foreigner?In my friendship circle I know of all these examples.I'm guessing you've been hurt Fred?
      Reply

        • Rogerio says

          1000% agreed, based on experience. While there will be rare exceptions, do not trust a single word that comes from a Thai woman's mouth, including "I love you soooo much." They will discard you on the trash heap with zero notice in order to "trade up" to gain status and face. The concept of "love" to many, many Thai women is no different than flipping a light switch on or off - it's simply a convenience rather than an actual emotional attachment.
          Reply

          • Mr. says

            This comment tells a lot about you, and very little about Thai women. With your completely distorted, disrespectful and misogynic views upon Thai women, why the hell are you wasting pixels in a comment section about Thai marriage traditions?

            If Thai women "will discard you on the trash heap with zero notice in order to “trade up” to gain status and face" then maybe... just maybe, this says more about what kind of a "man" you are and very little about Thai women in general.

            Everybody understands what "experience" you base your assumptions upon, so why not just accept the fact that your best chance of spending any time with a Thai woman is to keep taking advantage of being a scumbag 1st worlder trying to score in a 3rd world country, and pay a poor Isaan girl out of a bar?
            Reply

  8. Paul says

    Hi. Fred
    Nice start and introduction!
    Just a couple of questions as you seem to be an expert in a one line statement.
    1/ do you live in Thailand ?
    2/ have you ever been married to Thai or to anyone for that matter?
    3/ have you ever payed for Sex?
    4/ could you please advise the best country to find a woman to marry that won't cost anything and that the woman will be truthful and faithful ?
    As you are the expert on Thai woman and anyone marrying them I look forward to reading your answers.
    In my opinion you get good and bad people in any country in any Race and no matter if you pay for Sex or for marriage or find true love it all costs you money in the long run.
    The difference is the smart people identify the scammers and stay away from them.
    Yes there are some Thai girls that play games and use you for money but I also see many western men play games with Thai people and pull on their heart strings.
    Obviously a girl of 18 with a man of 60 is probably not with him for the right reason but if it makes him happy what is the harm in it.
    Usually the only fools are not the ones that marry Thais they are the ones that come on holiday looking for love without doing the research or the people that think they can win a Thai girl over because they think she may have little education or the people that make one line comments on websites without explaining their reasons
    Reply

    • TheThailandLife says

      Yes there are some Thai girls that play games and use you for money but I also see many western men play games with Thai people and pull on their heart strings.
      This is very true and something seldom mentioned. I have witnessed a lot of foreign guys play cruelly with the hearts and good nature of Thai women, which is something seldom mentioned. The focus is always on the Thai woman that burned the foreign guy.
      Reply

  10. Andrew says

    Lots of understandable arguments guys. I feel however that since Thailand is truly in need of change and reform, it is legitimate to question and even express some constructive criticism towards what the above refers to as 'culture'. If there was perhaps less fixation on this so-called 'culture' the world and Thailand might well be a more peaceful place. Thailand is on the brink of civil war and this has to do with their fixation on the values of 'culture'. Best regards, Andy
    Reply

    • Lloyd says

      Andrew, your are obviously nowhere near Thailand and have probably been watching or reading far to much foreign media with such a ridiculous statement as "Thailand is on the brink of civil war ", a little too much sensationalism I would think!

      The truth in Thailand is pretty much as normal and outside of a handful of people standing around a few intersections in Bangkok life and culture in Thailand is far and wide peaceful and well balanced.

      If everyone was to remove the cultural aspects from their lives life would become mundane and somewhat "westernised" where most weddings are more about matching colours and hens nights than a meaningful celebration of commitment.
      Reply

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