Culture shock isn't unusual for those new to Thailand, but it's all part of the experience of traveling / living in another country.
Customs may differ from region to region, too, and on your travels up and down the country you are likely to come across many different traditions, beliefs, and superstitions.
However, the customs in this list are pretty standard across Thailand, perhaps with the exception of the couple of superstitious ones I threw in at the end.
Of course, not all Thais adhere to these customs and you may find that some of my generalizations don't apply to your partner or friends.
Either way, it's always good to be aware of local customs so that you can better integrate and interact with Thai people.
Thai Culture – 14 Customs You Should Know
1. Don't Shake Hands or Give Hugs
Thailand is famous for its warm and welcoming people, thus its nickname “the land of smiles”. However, despite being really friendly, being touchy isn't a part of Thai culture.
In fact, even shaking hands is a bit of a no-no, and going in for a hug is certainly off limits, unless of course it's your partner or someone you know extremely well.
Instead, use the traditional Thai greeting (the wai) as a way of saying hello and being polite.
2. Don't Talk Politics
Unlike in the west, where talking politics over dinner is commonplace, it tends to be a subject most Thais want to steer clear of. This is probably because the serious nature of politics unbalances the Thai quest for peace and harmony.
On a similar note, you probably know that the Royal Family are very important to Thais and are revered by the nation. However, most Thais do not discuss the Royal Family at great depth and prefer not to comment on their actions or personal lives. It is therefore a good idea to avoid this subject altogether.
3. Keep Your Cool
Raising your voice is unacceptable in Thailand and considered an act of losing control.
Quiet and humble is always the best approach and you certainly won't achieve anything by becoming aggressive or loud.
Jai yen yen (cool heart) instead of Jai rawn (hot heart) is the way of the Thai – at least until someone really boils over, that is.
This is noticeable in that people tend not to complain of bad customer service of over pricing, but rather just move on and let it go.
It generally makes for a nicer society, but there is a downside. If people don't complain and voice their opinion, lower standards often prevail.
4. Don't Open Gifts Immediately
If you visit a Thai person's home and take a present for the host, you may find it is well received but immediately put to one side and left unopened. Don't be offended by this.
It is actually considered rude to open the present there and then in front of the giver.
A Thai person is more likely to wait until you have left to open the gift. This is part of the “krengjai” custom (in consideration of someone else's kindness).
If you really want the person to open the present while you are there, it's fine to ask. But expect some shyness about it.
5. Always Take Off Your Shoes
Shoes must be taken off upon entering someone’s home; no matter whose home it is.
Shoes walk outside and pick up all manner of dirt, which people don't want in the home – especially considering that Thais often eat sitting on the floor.
Even if you get a “mai pen rai” (no problem/it’s okay), you should take them off because the person is just being polite.
6. Don't Touch a Person's Head
Don't touch anyone on the head, unless you want to really upset someone.
In contrast to the feet, the head is considered the sacred part of the body and not to be touched without permission. Certainly don't put your feet near someone's head!
You may see an adult give a child a rub on the head, but I would refrain from this unless the child is in your extended family and a bond has already been established.
7. Don't Point!
Pointing at someone is a no-no in Thailand and is considered an aggressive behavior.
Your Thai friends won't take offense if you point when joking around, as they will understand that as a foreigner you may point instinctively.
However, don't point at monks or pictures of any of the Royal Family, and as a general rule don't point at people when making reference to them; it's rude.
If you need to point someone out, instead of extending your finger, bend your hand downwards with your fingers leaning toward the floor and your palm facing upward.
8. Duck Down When Walking Between People
This is a common interaction you'll see on a daily basis in the workplace and at shopping centers.
When a person walks between other people, the person will duck down slightly to acknowledge the interruption and subtly apologize without speaking.
Sometimes this will be accompanied by a vocal “excuse me” or “sorry”.
The same applies if you walk past a person and block out their vision for a split second.
9. Dress Appropriately
Thai culture is generally quite conservative, and dressing modestly is considered the appropriate way. That means not showing too much skin (for women), and not walking around with your top off (for men).
Now, you may be scratching your head a little here, thinking about the women you've seen in Bangkok dressed in short skirts, heels and backless tops, and that's just when shopping in the mall!
But that's Bangkok, a big city where many go to escape rural conservatism, and it's a minority when you look at the bigger picture.
10. Pay for the Right Meal
In Thailand, the inviter pays for the meal. In cases where it is unclear who the inviter was, the superior will usually pay. Unless it's someone's birthday, in which case they are expected to pay.
Remember, if you are going on a date with a Thai woman, don't think going “Dutch” is an option. It isn't, and you may well be seen as tight (kee-nee-ow) for expecting to split the bill.
In this part of the world, men pay the way on dates, I'm afraid.
11. Don't Mix Your Food
Nothing annoys my wife more than me mixing up the separate Thai dishes she's cooked, or using a spoon from one dish and putting it into another.
This is because a Thai meal usually consists of multiple dishes, each with its own unique expression of flavors intended to be tasted separately.
The proper way to eat is to start with a bowl / plate of plain rice, and to scoop a spoonful of a dish you want to eat onto the rice. You finish this first before moving onto try another dish.
12. Respect Your Rice
Rice is a staple of the Thai diet, but also culturally significant. Even the word for meal translates to “eat rice” (Gin khao).
Rice is considered almost sacred. It is the carbohydrate that provides energy for the nation and keeps people fed in tough times.
Thais will endeavor to eat all of the rice they put on their plate and rarely throw any away. Rice is treated with great respect because of the farmers who work so hard to plough the fields and plant and harvest the rice.
13. Eat with a Fork and a Spoon
When you sit down to a Thai meal you will notice the absence of a knife. Well, you'll have to get used to eating with just a fork and spoon.
The fork will be to your left and the spoon to your right. Use the fork to push food onto the spoon and then eat from the spoon.
When you have finished eating, place the fork directly onto the spoon to let other know that you are full.
14. Ask a Ghost's Permission
There are ghosts everywhere in Thailand, apparently. Some are good, some bad, and some just mischievous.
One custom that isn't so widely practiced anymore is to ask permission from the phra phum (spirit ghost of the land) for a visitor to stay in the house.
The visitor is also asked to thank the ghost when they leave
This custom still exists, mainly in rural areas of the country, but also among the very superstitious.
Some Thais will perform this ritual before going to sleep in a hotel room, because it isn't their home and they want to ensure the spirit doesn't cause them any trouble.
15. Step Over a Threshold
If you visit a building or home with a threshold (the strip or wood or metal that runs across the bottom of an entry door frame) it is polite to step over it and not on it.
This superstition relates to the spirits that inhabit a home. One of the spirits is said to live in the door threshold. If you step on the threshold, you may anger the spirit and bring bad luck to the family.
+ Your Next Read: What's Behind All 13 Thai Smiles?
Last Updated on
Max Beard says
Like as has been said before the wearing of a bra or not is not a big problem. Yes, Thais are far more conservative than we westerners and in the touristy areas they accept we have a different approach to life. Just be a little sensitive to thier cultural beliefs and if you don't want to wear a bra then don't wear a flimsy see through top.
Now as regards showing affection to your patner/spouse the Thais just don't do this. You will rarely see a Thai couple holding hands let alone hugging and kissing. This is not just adult to adult but I have noticed a lack of affection shown to children over the age of about 7 from their parents or family members. This lack of showing affection can be seen as soon as you fly into Bangkok. Thai people do not greet family members or friends they have not seen for some time with a hug anda kiss on the cheek as we westerners tend to do. There is no physical contact, just a smile and a wai. Now again in the tourist areas and Islands, holding hands/hugging and quick kisses in public are regarded as the westerners normal way of doing things and accepted. Not so much in the more rural parts of Thailand but they are getting used to seeing it slowly with more westerners living in their midst.
Maybe this way of theirs not showing affection in public stems to when the family chose your spouse for you. Nothing to do about love. Then when you are married you lived in the same house as your parents and siblings and all of you go to sleep together on the floor in the same room. Can't really get romantic like this. This still happens in some more rural villages but much less so.
Thailand is a lovely country. I am married to a Thai National and have lived in a small village in Isaan for three years. I still learn all the time about their customs and cultures. Some extraodinary, unbelievable, quaint and some riduculous. But as is often heard said here by westerners TOT (This Is Thailand)
This article and it's posts are very informative and if you can remember most of what has been written I am sure your boyfriendand yourself will have an even better time here on holiday.
Just remember Thailand is still light years behind most Western countries.
Other things I suggest you be aware off is the corrupt police here. Not the odd policeman but the majority. Just be careful definetely no drugs of any kind, very severe penalties if caught.
Next advice. Thailand is a cheap place to buy things but there is a reason for this. Generally the quality is poor especially in regards to clothes and shoes. You can buy a copy opf just about anything here in Thailand, but!!!!!!!
May 31, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Anastasia says
And now a hypocritical seque - contact between men and women is inappropriate in public? Can you please elaborate on that? I will be going to Thailand with my boyfriend, and want to be aware so I can respect the local customs are. (To a degree though.... Curtailing PDA out of respect I understand, covering up In places of worship, sure, wearing a bra when it's going to make me hot and uncomfortable, no.)
May 31, 2013 at 2:07 am
TheThailandLife says
May 31, 2013 at 10:07 am
Margarita Lerma says
May 11, 2013 at 1:52 am
TheThailandLife says
May 11, 2013 at 10:46 am
Kayla Suchar says
it is very interesting and different from America's culture
Apr 30, 2013 at 5:16 am
TheThailandLife says
Apr 30, 2013 at 10:48 am
Martin1 says
Maybe most cultures (!) on this planet are different to what you American guys call a "culture".
I call it the "American way of life", not a "culture".
Sorry!
May 03, 2017 at 4:30 am
Max Beard says
Having talked at length to my wife on this subject I know understand it a little better.
If a male dies, not through illness, suicide or accident, but just goes to bed and dies in his sleep then here lies the problem. The 'Red Shirt' is to ward off the FEMALE ghost which they believe will come and take the MEN from the household. If there is no men living in the house then no red shirt is displayed on the entrance to the property.
Bizzare? Yes, but it is what they believe.
Travelled around a bit today and seen the 'red shirt' displayed in a number of villages.
Feb 26, 2013 at 7:54 pm
TheThailandLife says
Feb 26, 2013 at 8:27 pm
Max Beard says
I have lived in Rural Thailand now for over 2 years and still getting used to their customs.
One to add regarding ghosts.
In a village where a recent death has occurred, you will often see most or all houses display a red shirt at the entrance to their property. This is to keep the ghost of the dead person from entering your house.
One other thing that could be mentioned is that it is taboo for a lady to touch a monk and vice versa.
Feb 24, 2013 at 3:55 pm
TheThailandLife says
Feb 24, 2013 at 7:05 pm
Martin1 says
Would Thai people also flag red if a lovely and/or wealthy man has died?
I mean, there are not only bad ghosts, are they? There are good ghosts, too.
:-)
May 03, 2017 at 4:33 am
Marion says
Jan 16, 2013 at 4:23 am
Martin1 says
The only way to show my appreciation is to write some comments with, what I think is, helpful advice, as I never would waste my time on a crappy blog.
TTL is clearly in the top!
May 03, 2017 at 3:53 am
Sarah D says
Let me know!
Thanks!
Sep 25, 2012 at 7:27 pm
TheThailandLife says
Sep 25, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Martin1 says
To exaggerate, I would say that because of watching Thai drama too much, Thai people fear "ghosts". My (Thai) wife does too. She cannot sleep alone in a hotel abroad because immediately ghosts will come. Haha.
Some Thai people can't even sleep without light turned on.
And Thai people watch television so much. There is that joke that there is a switch on the TV, which is only used _one_ time: To turn the TV on. Haha.
TTL, you did the traditional Thai wedding as me. At one part the monks talk to the ancestors that there will be some new person coming to the family.
That is really their believe.
May 03, 2017 at 4:01 am
venus says
Aug 31, 2012 at 12:45 pm
TheThailandLife says
Aug 31, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Stef261 says
Jun 17, 2012 at 3:54 am